HEARTS coach Valdas Ivanauskas has the look of a man who's been trapped in a lift for 15 hours with Lenny Henry.

However, when Stuart Dougal blew the final whistle at Tynecastle on Wednesday night, I'm reliably informed the Lithuanian's face broke into a slight grin.

And that's what I call progress.

Meanwhile, the 8000 diehard Jambos (plus, of course, the 9000 glory-hunters) were absolutely ecstatic.

Splitting the Old Firm for a Champions League spot is an amazing achievement and what a fabulous two-fingered salute for the sour-faced cynics in the media who were almost willing Hearts to implode. Yes, it's amazing how many of the whingers have suddenly changed their tune over the past few days.

With serious gloating surely now the order of the day at Ibrox tomorrow, you can't blame any Rangers fans who stay away from the final match of the season.

After being granted an audience with Vladimir Romanov on Wednesday afternoon, I wouldn't be surprised if he makes his debut in this meaningless fixture.

Look out too for The Pyjama Man at centre-forward and new-age therapist Rima between the (golden) sticks.

Meanwhile, spare a thought for poor Graeme Dott. When the keen Rangers fan parades the World Snooker trophy at half-time, I believe the Hearts fans are planning to drown out the applause with a quick chorus of "One Stephen Hendry, There's Only One Stephen Hendry".

Taken from the Daily Record