EVEN BREBNER WOULDN'T STICK £5 ON HEARTS WINNING SPL

SICK and tired of enduring vitriolic dog's abuse from Old Firm fans after talking up the Tynecastle title challenge one day - before watching them getting shafted the next - I've come to a big decision.

Yep, I'm going to follow Vladimir Romanov's example and pledge a vow of silence.

I mean, come on, what's the point of giving the Jambos big licks on a Saturday - hoping and praying they can break the Old Firm's 21-year stranglehold on the Premier League title - if it means getting slagged rotten by Celtic and Rangers supporters for the rest of the week?

I remember chatting to a Gers fan in Bath Street three or four years ago. After exchanging pleasantries he gave me a friendly slap between the shoulder blades and disappeared back into his office while I wandered towards the city centre.

It was at least half an hour before a kind-hearted passer-by pointed out the A4 sheet of paper taped to my back that boldly proclaimed, "I Am A Dick".

Fair play to the bloke in question for such a cunning wheeze (it's hard to get too upset when you're killing yourself laughing) but I wish the emails I've received over the past week or so contained even a fraction of that humour.

It would appear that if there's one thing Old Firm fans hate, it's people like yours truly having the temerity to suggest it might actually be good for Scottish football if a club outside Glasgow won the SPL trophy.

To be fair though, as recent results at Tynecastle would suggest, I have been talking a degree of bollocks. Last week, for example, I boldly predicted that Craig Gordon, a goalie I insisted was even better than Motherwell legend Shuggy Sproat, would end the season by getting his gloves on an SPL winner's medal.

The response I received from a Paisley reader called Deek, "Only if he puts on a balaclava and breaks into Artur Boruc's house" is one of the few emails I can reproduce in a family newspaper.

Okay, hands up, despite what I may have forecast last Saturday, it would appear the Jambos aren't set to pounce after all. Not for the first time this season, they were booed off the park by their own supporters (the sort of behaviour I thought they reserved for Scottish Cup finals against Second Division opposition) and I think it's fair to say not even Grant Brebner would put a fiver on Hearts winning the league.

The bizarre system of playing 387 different players in their last 10 matches appears to be taking its toll. You've heard of crop rotation? Well, I think this is called crap rotation.

I honestly think Romanov, whether you love him or hate him, has been terrific for Scottish football and I certainly won't hear a word against his promise that Hearts will be winning the Champions League within a couple of years.

Cheers, Vlad. It's good to know I'm not the worst tipster in the country.

Meanwhile, with my esteemed colleague Jim Traynor promising to run naked through the streets of Glasgow if Celtic don't win the league (but only if he's granted planning permission, of course) it's probably just as well they have secured the SPL title before the clocks go back.

But even Celtic fans must admit this is a pretty depressing state of affairs and I think it's time Gordon Strachan brought back Bobo Balde just to give the other teams a wee chance. Leaving my vow of silence aside for a moment, I wonder if Hibs could still give the Hoops a run for their money?

Still the best team to watch in the SPL, they gave Dunfermline a real doing at the start of the week (how good did wee Ivan Sproule look?) and Monday's match against Aberdeen promises to be another cracker, particularly if the Dons once again play just two men at the back.

However, after conceding a goal last week to Dundee United (what a brasser) I bet Jimmy Calderwood will never do that again.

Rangers? Nah, forget it. The fact their supporters currently have the cheek to start complaining about soft penalties being awarded against them surely proves how far the mighty have fallen.

Mind you, maybe they've got a right to moan. Having checked the records, I can tell you Rangers have now had three soft penalties awarded against them in the club's 134-year history. Disgraceful, eh?

On the Ibrox club's chances this season, I'll leave the final word to the Celtic fan working in Burger King who served Paul Le Guen earlier this week. "Can I have two Whoppers?" asked PLG.

"Nae bother," came the reply. "Karl Svensson's world class and I think Rangers will win the SPL."

Taken from the Daily Record