MISSION IMPOSSIBLE

STEVEN PRESSLEY lost out on the chance to be named most stylish man in Scotland last night but a few hours earlier proved there is no one in the country with his class.

Dr Who star David Tennant was given the style award at a glittering ceremony in Glasgow but the only thing Elvis must envy him this morning is his Tardis.

If he could travel back in time two years, the prospect of re-living even the worst of the Chris Robinson era must seem as appealing as the idea of a fortnight break to Valdas Ivanauskas earlier this week.

A significant number of Hearts players mutinied against club owner Vladimir Romanov amid astonishing scenes at Riccarton yesterday afternoon.

The weekly press conference at the club training centre, attached to Heriot Watt University, was being billed as the chance to quiz acting head coach Eduard Malofeev for the first time ahead of today's game against Dunfermline.

Instead, it was hijacked by Pressley, Paul Hartley and Craig Gordon as the skipper read from a carefully prepared statement that could amount to a suicide note for the future of, at least, the three most influential players at Hearts.

It was the gutsiest performance of the season as the frustration of every moment of interference, meddling and mayhem from Romanov came spilling out in a few hundred brave words.

Pressley, with Gordon to his left and Hartley to his right, pulled a sheet of A4 paper from the pocket of his shorts and told his audience of around 40 media personnel he had a statement to read, after which there would be no questions.

Eyebrows had already been raised at the entrance of the three Scotland internationals at 12.30pm and it finally clicked that a chasm the length of Gorgie Road between Romanov and a significant number of first-team players was about to be exposed. Earlier, the atmosphere around Riccarton could best be described as funereal as players, most of them wearing unusually hangdog expressions, wandered off in groups of three and four towards the car park.

Pressley said: "This is a statement on behalf of a number of players and it is no reflection on Eduard who, on initial impressions, seems a very honest and diligent manager.

"I would like to wish Valdas a speedy recovery but whether he returns or not is incidental in relation to the problems associated with the football club.

"I have tried, along with the coaching staff and certain colleagues, to implement the correct values and disciplines but it has become an impossible task.

"There is only so much a coaching staff, a captain and certain colleagues can do without the full backing, direction and coherence of the manager and those running the football club.

"While publicly I have expressed the need for unity, behind the scenes I have made my concerns abundantly clear. The last two years have been very testing for the players. Together, we have faced a number of challenges and worked hard to retain some degree of unity. However, due to the circumstances morale, understandably, is not good and there is significant unrest within the dressing room."

The trio then left the room and Gordon and Hartley departed Riccarton minutes later without making further comment.

Shortly afterwards, around 12.50pm, Romanov appeared at the top of the stairs with Pedro Lopez, the bizarrely titled director of infrastructure at the club.

As a media scrum gathered around Romanov asking for comment via Lopez, who speaks Russian, the owner made a dash for the revolving door.

But, amazingly, it was to play a prank on two photographers who had been caught in one of its sections as they tried to move outside for a better position.

Romanov smiled and held the handle tightly as they struggled to manoeuvre themselves with their camera equipment hanging by their sides.

Hearts' owner re-entered the academy and it looked at that point as if he would make a statement. But this time he turned and went out through the emergency exit to the side and towards an Audi A6 parked 100 yards away.

Romanov zigzagged across the tarmac like Neil McCann taking on a full-back but could not free himself from the shackles of the media as questions poured in about his reaction to the statement and the future of Pressley, Gordon and Hartley.

On Thursday night, Romanov had pledged to take a vow of silence for a month but finally cracked when asked if they would face the Pars at Tynecastle.

"I'll play," he said with a smile before being bundled into the back seat of the car to be driven away by Lopez.

Hearts' public relations staff emerged minutes later to say, unsurprisingly, the Malofeev conference had been cancelled as mobile phones went into meltdown.

Pressley then re-appeared, this time in his elegant civvies, and walked off towards his club Honda, pausing only to sign an autograph for a bemused fan who could hardly believe all that was going on.

After an hour of waiting around, this supporter could boast a maroon shirt scribbled in felt-tip pen with the names of the first-team squad from the 2006-2007 season.

Few who were present at Riccarton yesterday would bet on the same collection of names being associated with Hearts for very much longer.

Taken from the Daily Record